Nothing was going to make me miss Third Coast.  It’s that important to me.  I’ve been looking forward to the conference since I registered in August.  You get to the point that you’re so invested in achieving your goal that you will stop at nothing to achieve it.  So, when I received a number of messages telling me that the Universe was suggesting I do something other than attend Third Coast, I would hear nothing of it.

My travel adventures began yesterday (October 9) when I was told by the United Airlines check-in clerk that the flight I had paid to be a passenger of was oversold.  I had thought that paying for a seat meant that you were guaranteed a seat.  Okay.  I’m a fool, perhaps, but I figured I had signed and paid for a contract between with the airline that guaranteed me a seat on the flight.  United, on the other hand, apparently has a different view of contracts and commitments with paying customers.

I was seething.  I asked to be rebooked on another flight that would get me to Chicago in the morning with an overnight stop in Toronto.  Oversold.  How about through Calgary that evening, or any other local destination with a connection to Chicago?  The clerk checked.  Nothing.  It turns out that United had oversold all flights for the day.  The clerk checked other carriers.  No luck.  They were all booked.

“Overbooked?” I asked.

The clerk booked me to fly through Calgary first thing in the morning, arriving in Chicago after 1pm.  Then I asked to be booked into a hotel for the night.  The clerk smirked and looked at me like I had two heads.

“We don’t do that, sir.”

“How about a voucher or a hotel recommendation?  Anything?”

“We don’t have vouchers nor do we help passengers find hotel rooms.  You’re on your own.”  She then proceeded to explain that it was my responsibility to find my own hotel, pay for it myself and if I so desired, keep my receipts and submit a claim for consideration by United.  She wouldn’t even recommend a hotel.  She directed me to a board on another floor of the airport that listed local hotels I could choose from.

The clerk was clear that United Airlines oversells its flights as a business practice and that they, the check-in staff, are left to deal with inconvenienced and regularly irate passengers.  Despite the pleading of the check-in staff for a better passenger experience, United management has done nothing — nor have they given any indication of concern — for the staff or passengers.

This sudden change in plans meant that I would be missing most of the first day of Third Coast and would potentially miss an appointment I had won to have award winning audio producer, Julia McEvoy, review one of my pieces in a private “Audio Doctor” consultation.  In an instant, United Airlines had become my enemy number one.  They butchered my long anticipated plans and abandoned me to pick up the pieces.

I spent just over ninety minutes on the phone with United Airlines Customer Relations from my room in the Travelodge.  One clerk rebooked me to fly direct out of Edmonton at 7:00am, arriving in Chicago at 11:00am, and then put me through to a customer relations agent.  By the time the call was over, the agent advised me that United check-in staff in Edmonton has the authority and responsibility to distribute hotel vouchers and help passengers with their accommodations if they are bumped from an oversold flight.

“Does this happen often?”, I asked.

“It happens once in a while”, he replied.  “Send us your original receipts and we’ll review your claim.  We’ll evaluate the amount of the reimbursement and send you an appropriate cheque.  It can take many weeks.”  That sounded highly dismissive to me.

Arriving at 11:00am would save my Audio Doctor appointment and meant I could hook up with other Third Coasters for lunch.  Under the circumstances, it was a desirable solution.

I woke up at 4:00am, arrived at the airport, checked in, cleared customs and waited at the gate.  Everything was going great.

Immediately after take off, there was an audible thumping sound coming from the underside of the plane.  It sounded like luggage bumping around.  Another passenger said it sounded like a wolverine loose in the cargo hold.  About fifteen minutes into the flight, the pilot acknowledged the sound and said that they were investigating the possibility of a loose service door.  A few minutes later, the plane banked left.  We were heading back to Edmonton.  The pilot reassured the passengers that it was likely a small problem.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit concerned.  However, the flight had been smooth to that point so it was hard to imagine anything terrible.  On the other hand, big things start out small, right?

Our landing angle seemed unusual to me.  We came in very steady and low to the ground.  I honestly thought we weren’t going to reach the runway.  When we did land, it was the most gentle touchdown I have ever experienced.  Really.  It was difficult to believe we had actually come in contact with the ground.  It was a huge relief that we had landed without issue.  The brakes come on harder than I’m accustomed to.  We actually lurched forward in our seats.

It felt good to taxi off the runway.  We were safe.  What could happen now?

Famous last thoughts!

There was a bump and then a grinding sound on the right side of the plane.  The plane listed to the right.  I instantly suspected the wheels.  That’s when I had thoughts about what could have happened if the wheels blew out on landing.  Not good.

It turns out that one of the right tires blew out during take-off.  The loose rubber prevented the landing gear door from closing and the exposed rubber was flapping against the underside of the aircraft.  The second tire obviously couldn’t stand the additional pressure and (thankfully) gave out on the taxiway (not the runway).

Twenty seconds made the difference between a major catastrophe and a significant inconvenience.

Nearly forty minutes later, the pilot received each passenger at the bottom of the staircase on the tarmac as we ‘deplaned’ and filed onto awaiting buses.  He was visibly shaken.

Crowds of people snapped photos of the mangled landing gear.

Nothing brings people together like adversity.  A group of us connected, joked about how close we came to death and chuckled about the day that lay ahead.  We snickered at the long lineup (forty minutes) to collect our $15 meal vouchers — the ONLY support the airline offered during what would be an eight-hour sequestering in the Edmonton airport.  During those eight hours, the airline would repeatedly contradict itself, tell passengers that head office was not providing the local staff with accurate or any information, and do little more than offer apology after apology.  Re-booking flights had to be done through United Airline’s international phone number, not the ticketing/check-in desk.  Staff was curt and seemed put out by the anxiety of all passengers of UA6204.

Around 3:15pmCT, a new aircraft arrived.  According to our boarding passes, the flight was to have departed Edmonton at 2:00pmCT.  We were told to hustle onto the plane because there was mere minutes left with the existing crew before FAA regulations required them to be grounded for their mandatory rest.  We squeaked out.

Once in the air, the airline insisted on charging for drinks and offered no snacks.  Most passengers on the flight hadn’t eaten for six-to-eight hours (since the $15 meal vouchers were issued).

We landed in Chicago around 8:30pmCT and a whole new confusion began.  The plane drove around in circles for about twenty minutes looking for a gate in the same way most people drive around a parking lot looking for an available parking space.  It was embarrassing, really.

I missed the entire first day of Third Coast and my Audio Doctor appointment (something I won in a lottery).  Ground staff in Edmonton insisted their arms were tied by corporate head office which has no idea what their job is like.  Customer Relations insisted that the ground staff was shirking its responsibilities and acted in direct contravention of corporate policies and procedures.

I spoke with about fifteen passengers, all of whom have sworn themselves off of United Airlines.  I’m likely among them.  I tried to appeal to UA noting that I’ve been a regular passenger on their airline over the last several years with significant travel on their airline over the last two months.  United Airlines staff said everything short of “so what”.

Let’s be clear, there was little UA staff and management could do about the blown tire.  However, there are countless ways they could have made the customer experience a positive one beginning with not overselling flights through to taking care of their customers under extenuating circumstances.

As a regular patron of United Airlines, I feel betrayed by their disinterest in their customers and the way in which the airline operates in disconnected silos.  My experience is that they acted, at every opportunity, in a way that clearly demonstrates they have absolutely no interest in their passengers at all other than to bill them at every opportunity.

What’s up, United?