Earlier this evening, Keith Burtis asked (in Twitter) if a parent should have their child’s strengths or weaknesses tutored. I enjoyed being a part of the discussion with Keith and Eden Spodek and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
As a parent, I’d like to think I could be happy to support my daughters’ strengths and not add any further burden by forcing either of them to give up precious free time to build up any semblance of strength in weak subjects. Frankly, there is so little time in the day to decompress and to connect as a family and much of that is already consumed by surprising amounts of homework (something I have a huge issue with). The question is, can I practice as a parent what I preach as a blogger?
I think what needs to be done is not teach the child out of any weakness but to find ways to energize the child despite their weakness. A great teacher or tutor is the kind of person that knows how to get a student excited and curious about any subject. The child should be helped to find his/her own love of the topic and explore it for success. They may never be good at it in conventional terms, but they can find their own opportunities for success within that space.
A music teacher I took lessons from a few years ago has an enthusiasm for music of all kinds (from classical to industrial heavy metal) that is infectious and inspiring. It made me more excited and interested in learning about all kinds of music (from classical to industrial heavy metal) even though I wasn’t successful at or previously interested in some styles. Not only that, he found ways to relate the different kinds of music to each other and showed how to apply that knowledge to a variety of styles, songs and composition techniques. I believe our children need that type of inspiration, enthusiasm and support in everything they do — whether it plays into their strengths or weaknesses.
Mark, it was a sort of funny meme that went right through twitter as many people of course have strong feelings about their childrens well being. It is my belief that a child should surely have well rounded skills that apply across many fields and that they should be encouraged along all courses of study. However, If you have a child that is particularly gifted naturally at one area whether this is art, science, sports, or math that this is the area we should get them a tutor for. Lets let our children flourish and find success. This success in life will lead to further success because their self-esteem is such that their confidence breeds more confidence.I think too often we follow that old mentality that someone has to be good at something, or that if they are not making the grade at a certain level in a certain subject that they are somehow inferior. That’s just crap.
As a child my parents always told me that I could do whatever it was that I set my mind to, and I believe this to be true to this day. My problem was setting my mind to any one area or focus. As a parent now, I find myself wanting to encourage my daughter to build on successes and that a perceived failure is merely an opportunity to grow and learn.
Thanks for writing the post.
Keith
Comment by Keith Burtis — August 19, 2008 @ 11:01 pm
I would say that it would depend on what the weaknesses might be. If they were for example in areas/subjects that the child will need to be happy and productive in life then should we not do everything we can (within reason) to improve their abilities.
On the flip side if they show a talent/love/desire in a subject/activity I have to agree with Keith Burtis stance that we should encourage them to explore and possibly improve their capabilities … you never know where or what it may lead too.
Comment by KeiferB — August 20, 2008 @ 7:38 am
I’ve always encouraged my children to pursue their interests and support them in their pursuits as much as possible. Both of them have a thirst for learning.
Fortunately, we live in a neighbourhood with excellent public schools that for the most part, are able to attract wonderful teachers who make learning fun, interesting and often intellectually stimulating.
I agree kids today are stressed and already overburdened with homework so I haven’t made a point of hiring tutors to further develop their strengths or fill in any gaps. However, if one of them was having a tough time in school and they needed additional support, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Comment by Eden Spodek — August 20, 2008 @ 7:39 am
I've always encouraged my children to pursue their interests and support them in their pursuits as much as possible. Both of them have a thirst for learning.
Fortunately, we live in a neighbourhood with excellent public schools that for the most part, are able to attract wonderful teachers who make learning fun, interesting and often intellectually stimulating.
I agree kids today are stressed and already overburdened with homework so I haven't made a point of hiring tutors to further develop their strengths or fill in any gaps. However, if one of them was having a tough time in school and they needed additional support, I wouldn't hesitate.
Comment by Eden Spodek — December 31, 2009 @ 3:05 am