Dicky Fox offered “The key to this business is personal relationships” to his charge, Jerry Maguire.  It had a profound impact on the energetic sports agent — he banked his entire career on that advice and it paid off.

I recently connected two people, an acquaintance (Mr. X) looking for some help and a good friend (Mr. Y) with specific expertise in a number of key areas in social media, on a business opportunity.  I made the introductions and let them work out the rest of the details.

A few weeks later I received a phone call from Mr. Y to report a complication in the business relationship.  During the explanation it became clear to me that X and Y were doomed because of one key problem: suspicion.  Mr. Y had become suspicious of Mr. X because of the way their email correspondence had evolved and because of the difference in professional backgrounds.  The key reason for Y’s call to me, though, was that Y was concerned that this complication would have a cascading effect and sour my relationship with X.  I provided an assurance that there would be no impact since the operative word in my relationship with Mr. X. was ‘acquaintance’ — nothing more.

In the days that followed, I received a trickle of forwarded email messages which began with a polite note from Y to X informing X that Y was terminating the business relationship.

An amazing thing happened.  Mr. X replied and clarified what turned out to be a miscommunication and challenged the willingness to terminate the business relationship.  His challenge was rooted in three key arguments:

• all players in the relationship appear to be straightforward and honest people
• miscommunication implies bi-directional collapse of communication
• life is too short to leave open misunderstandings and miscommunication

Having addressed the matters head-on, it appears that X and Y are now enjoying a stronger business relationship.  More importantly, I would argue that a new level of trust and communication has been established which would likely assure a long term business relationship.

So, I propose these three important pillars in support of Dicky Fox’ advice to Jerry Maguire

• Communicate clearly (e.g. well defined thoughts without the use of a thesaurus)
• Ask questions when necessary (e.g. Did I explain myself well?  Can you please clarify…for me?)
• Email is one of the worst communications tools available (”Show me the money” wouldn’t have worked in text) so don’t be afraid to use the phone once in a while — or even meet in person

I’m glad we had this talk.

We recently had an experience with a school of traditional Irish dance in the Ottawa area. The owner/teacher has a particular style that upset our daughters and other students in the class — a class made up of children ranging in age from five to twelve, and ranging in skill from rank beginners to competition winners. Despite the obvious warning signs, we went ahead with the class. When we went to bat for a young student in the class who was distraught about having to attend the class, the owner/teacher did not appreciate our concern.

We finally had enough and acted on our daughters’ wishes to withdraw them from the class. The owner/teacher stayed true to her style of deflecting our concerns, accusing us for her problems and attempting to prove how wrong we were. In addition to sharing her charming personality, she also refused any form of refund.

While some businesses and people cling to the idea, intimidation is a style that no longer works. Good relations and repeat business come from treating others (children and adults alike) with respect. If you berate people and have a “take the money and run” approach, your relationships and business opportunities will dry up and disappear.

(Sorry for the bad 80’s rock reference)